the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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