using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
don't judge my taste in strippers
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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