okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
