Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
