You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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