New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
