rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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