I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
