the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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