I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
