You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
