Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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