Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
