Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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