PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
