I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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