garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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