I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
