I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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