Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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