and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
