I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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