So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish life had little blips of pornography
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
