I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
