She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
