my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
