By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i think i just lost a toe
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
