How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
