Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
