Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
