She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
