She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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