Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
