somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
