Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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