Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
