and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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