He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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