believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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