OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
