Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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