make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm too high and old for this...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
