i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
