I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
