Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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