OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
