jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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