i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
