Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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