I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
