Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

No, drunk sperm still make babies.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...

Fav 21 5409 2841
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(530): View more from California

the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

Fav 1 1325 732
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(205): View more from Alabama

It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.

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(818): View more from California

Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it

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(207): View more from Maine

I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.

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