This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
