Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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