when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize