um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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