He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
there is glitter all over my balls
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