Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
