ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
