So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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