the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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