What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
